Lindsay Müller

We hear people say that respect, communication, honesty, and doing activities together are the keys to a happy romantic relationship. And while I wholeheartedly agree, there's one key that I want to bring up today that isn't talked about quite as much - and it's made a huge difference in my marriage. 

If you've read my posts before, you may have guessed that the key is SELF LOVE! Yes! What does self love have to do with my marriage? Let me tell you. 

For a long time I thought my husband Nuni didn't like certain things about me: my silly jokes, dancing to music in the car, and endless ideas. I subconsciously decided to tone things down - to stop doing those quirky things because "Nuni doesn't like them." But the thing was - Nuni never actually told me he didn't like them, nor did he ever ask me to "tone it down." That choice came from me, because I thought it would make him happier(which I don't think it did). Over time, I forgot about those fun little parts of myself. And I didn't realize it, but it majorly affected our relationship and my happiness.

DON'T YOU KNOW HOW AMAZING I AM?!  

A year or so ago I remember thinking to myself, "Nuni doesn't appreciate me enough. He doesn't compliment me and tell me how amazing I am. Doesn't he know how amazing I am?!" I felt annoyed about it for a while, but then I decided that it wasn't his job to build me up. It was actually my job. I started to love and appreciate myself. I decided to do what I loved and be myself in all my glory, no matter what anyone else thought, including my husband. And I had no idea this would happen, but I felt a HUGE shift. It was like I saw my husband fall in love with me again. I realized that he loved me for ME.  

When we love ourselves - when we choose to embrace our quirks, value our opinions above the opinions of others, when we believe in ourselves and follow our dreams, it's just natural that we become a happier person. And most of us want to live alongside a happy partner. Am I right? 

Our relationship today is so much more connected, loving, warm, and fun. We have frequent conversations about how we've changed, and how we're growing and learning together. It's pretty great.  

I share this to encourage anyone who has hidden away pieces of themselves because it didn't appear they were being celebrated by someone else. No matter who it is - your parent, your spouse, your friend - BE YOURSELF IN ALL YOUR GLORY!  

Three years ago, I was a stressed out mom of two energetic toddlers that always seemed to be getting into mischief. I felt like most of the words that came out of my mouth were: 

“Be careful!” 
“Don’t do that!” 
“Be gentle with your brother!” 

I wanted to be speaking positive, loving words to my boys because what we say to our children is POWERFUL. Our words become their inner voice! 

But I was so busy and frustrated with the demands of my little boys that I often forgot. 

At the same time, I was learning about SELF LOVE and POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS. As I spoke affirmations to myself I noticed a huge shift. I became so much happier, more confident and less stressed. And with time, I transformed into a different person. 

I wanted to make sure my kids heard these affirmations from a young age because I knew they would believe them easily, and hopefully keep them tucked in their hearts for the rest of their lives. 

So I came up with a list of positive affirmations from A-Z, starting with “You are Amazing” for the letter A. I’d whisper this list each night as I tucked them into bed, and eventually it developed into the song that has become my main message as a parent, musician and human: that every single one of us is AMAZING; that we are all loved, unique, and valuable. 

I didn’t want this message to be solely for the kids, so eventually a second verse developed. I wanted my boys to know that I believed in these affirmations as well. This time I turned the words around: “You Are Amazing” became “I Am Amazing.” 

It turned into my personal anthem and boosted my self confidence and self love even further. 

==> Listen to it HERE, and get a FREE digital download when you sign up to my mailing list! 

I LOVE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS! They have skyrocketed my self love and self confidence since I started using them a few years ago. In 2016 I wrote a list from A-Z of positive words, phrases and affirmations to speak over my two boys every night. Over time that list turned into a song called “You Are Amazing”(listen here or watch below) which I’ve been singing non-stop since then! Although I can’t see what’s going on beneath the surface, I think it’s having a huge impact on my boys, and on me.  

Here’s why I love to SING positive affirmations with my kids: 

KIDS BELIEVE WHAT YOU TELL THEM  

Children, especially very young children, are so freakin’ gullible. My 3 and 5 year old boys will believe anything. If I told them cars can fly, they’d believe it – and they’d want one! When you tell a child,  

“You are amazing!”  

“I believe in you!”  

“You are capable of anything you want to do!”  

They’ll believe it! And wouldn’t it be great to have that foundation of self-confidence right from the beginning of life? 

SONGS GET STUCK IN OUR HEADS  

Words are so much easier to remember when sung. At least for me, I have WAY, WAY more song lyrics memorized than I do a piece of poetry or a story. Song lyrics can stay with us our whole lives, and more, they get “stuck in our heads.” I LOVE having positive lyrics stuck in my head, and I hope the lyrics of “You Are Amazing” get stuck in their heads too! 

BECAUSE SOMETIMES WE FORGET  

Instilling love and confidence into our children is so easy – we just need to remember to tell them how wonderful they are, how proud we are of them, and how much we love them! But as a mom of 2 energetic boys, I often get caught up in the emotions and exhaustion of daily life, and I simply forget to say positive words and affirmations. I love being able to sing(or play the recording of)  “You Are Amazing” at bedtime and/or throughout the day, and know that those affirmations are being internalized. I hope my song will serve as a reminder to say and sing positive words with your little ones on a regular basis, as it has been for me. 

IN CONCLUSION  

When we love and believe in ourselves, there’s no limit to what we can do. Let’s instill these values into our kids from the beginning. Whether you sing or speak these positive words, I hope this song my song "You Are Amazing" will provide a starting place, should you need one. And because I'm so passionate about spreading this message far and wide, it's yours FOR FREE! Just click here!