What are the keys to a happy, healthy romantic relationship?
-respect
-communication
-honesty
-doing activities together
Are the ones I come across most often.
And while I agree, there's one key that isn't talked about much - and it's made a HUGE difference in my marriage.
SELF LOVE
That key is SELF LOVE! It might seem strange. Aren't we talking about romantic love? What does self love have to do with marriage?
For a long time, I thought my husband Nuni didn't like certain things about me. My silly jokes, dancing to music in the car, and endless ideas seemed to bother him. I decided to tone things down - to stop doing those quirky things because I thought: "Nuni doesn't like them."
But the thing was - Nuni never actually told me he didn't like them, nor did he ever ask me to "tone it down." That choice came from me, because I thought it would make him happier(which it didn't). Over time, I forgot about those fun little parts of myself. And I didn't realise it, but it affected our relationship and my happiness.
DON'T YOU KNOW HOW AMAZING I AM?!
I remember thinking to myself, "Nuni doesn't appreciate me enough. He doesn't compliment me and tell me how amazing I am. DOESN'T HE KNOW HOW AMAZING I AM?!" I felt annoyed about it for a while, but then I realised that it wasn't his job to build me up. It was MY job.
I started to love and appreciate myself. I spoke positive affirmations to myself. I decided to do what I loved and be myself in all my glory, no matter what anyone else thought, including my husband. And I had no idea this would happen, but I felt a HUGE shift. It was like I saw my husband fall in love with me again. I realised that he loved me for ME.
When we love ourselves - when we choose to:
- embrace our quirks
- value our opinions above the opinions of others
- treat ourselves kindly
- believe in ourselves and follow our dreams
it's natural that we become a happier person. And we all want to live alongside a happy partner, am I right?
My marriage today is so much more connected, loving, warm, and fun. We have frequent conversations about how we've changed for the better. We check in with each other about how we can be better.
Have you hidden pieces of yourself from someone because you didn't feel appreciated? No matter who it is - your parent, your spouse, your friend - I encourage you to BE YOURSELF IN ALL YOUR GLORY!
We are happiest and most fulfilled when we feel free to be who we are. But there is only one person who can grant you that freedom - and that's YOU!
(if you need a place to start - click here to check out my song "You Are Amazing", full of affirmations that will transform the way you think about yourself.
